


Maybe you were the ocean, (when I was just a stone)

by LoserLucas (planetsandstars)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Comforting Luke, Fluff, Insecure Ashton, Once again ashton thinks luke is cute, barely there smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2486735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetsandstars/pseuds/LoserLucas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s only much later, when they’re lying in Ashton’s bed and Ashton is half holding Luke and attempting not to hurt himself where he had his surgery, when he tells Luke how he’s been feeling.</p>
<p>Or Ashton has been feeling sad and insecure ever since he had his surgery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe you were the ocean, (when I was just a stone)

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write about insecure Ashton and comforting Luke. I hope it's okay.
> 
> (Title from 'Black Flies' by Ben Howard)

The hospital had told Ashton the dangers of the surgery, of course they had, it was a part of their job. But it wasn’t like Ashton could have refused even if he wanted to. So it’s only days later, when he’s not drugged up and only half aware of his mum forever sitting by his bed despite how bored she must have been that he realises what’s happened.

 

It’s nothing _horrific_ , and he knows there’s people out there with _far_ worse, but he can’t help but feel a little disgusted with the scar across his stomach. It looks weird and he doesn’t like it. The nurse notices he’s not in a good mood even though he was told he could go home today, she tries to cheer him up but Ashton just can’t feel any less lousy.

 

He hates that he cares so much but fuck he can’t help it, he just does.

 

***

 

It’s nice to be at home and have people take care of him for a change. Ashton’s spent so long being responsible for and wanting to protect his younger siblings, his band, and especially Luke so it’s a welcome experience having people run around after him willingly.

 

“Don’t worry, you’ll be up and about causing trouble and back on stage in no time” his mum says when she notices Ashton’s looking a little moody. He smiles for her sake and appreciates her for trying but it’s not _that_ that he’s sad about. It’s the fact he can’t freely take off his shirt anymore and feel _comfortable t_ hat’s bothering him.

 

He tries to set a good example for the fans, wants to show them that they can love themselves no matter what, but how can he when he doesn’t feel comfortable himself? He’ll just end up being a huge hypocrite.

 

He doesn’t want to tell his mum because she might not understand. She’d tell him to stop being so dumb and _embrace_ it or something. Which wouldn’t help him in the slightest.

 

***

 

He only really survived the hospital because Luke kept sending him dumb texts when he couldn’t come visit him. He didn’t really want the others seeing him like this because he was like, the father of the band, they couldn’t see him not at his best.

 

That didn’t apply to Luke though and he looked forward to seeing Luke more than anything when he had hours of boring time in hospital to pass. Luke didn’t really _do_ anything, he was just there and didn’t treat Ashton any differently even though he knew he looked like shit and felt like it as well.

 

He’s kind of surprised Luke leaves it as long as he does before he comes to visit after Ashton gets home. But he guesses, Luke’s family haven’t seen him in forever and they wanted to feed him up and baby him and whatever.

 

When Ashton hears a knock on the door early in the afternoon the next day he knows it’s Luke, he doesn’t bother to do anything with his mess of hair or hide the fact that he’s 20 and watching kid’s cartoon because he doesn’t care and neither does Luke.

 

“Hi” Luke sounds kind of breathless, like he ran all the way here, and he plonks himself down next to Ashton on the sofa and goes in for a hug until he remembers.

 

“Nope, can’t do that”

 

“No, please don’t” and Ashton has to laugh at how awkward Luke looks and how awkward this whole situation is. “You can come a bit closer though, I won’t break” Luke nods and eagerly shuffles closer because he’s a needy bugger sometimes.

 

“I’m glad you’re out”

 

“So am I, I was practically wasting away in there, the food was terrible”

 

“Trust you to always be thinking about your stomach” Luke teases.

 

“Says you, how much food has your mum made you since you got back?”

 

“More than I care to admit” this is nice, normal. “So, how long until you’re back to your usual self?” Luke asks, turning his attention to the TV briefly.

 

“Few weeks until I’m _completely_ better”

 

“Weeks?!” Luke’s attention is now fully on Ashton again. He looks horrified.

 

“Yeah, why?” Ashton asks suspiciously, “Wait . . . _are you thinking about sex_?”

 

“What? No, completely not, not at all” Luke looks at Ashton earnestly, “My number one priority is you and your health, I was just . . .”

 

“Luke, you’re a shitty liar” Luke sighs dramatically.

 

“Alright, it’s been like, 4 days. I was just wondering when you’d be up for it. I’m sorry, that makes me a terrible person” Luke makes a far too adorable pouty face and Ashton laughs.

 

“You’re 18, I guess it’s normal” Ashton leans in to peck Luke briefly on the lips because he’s not giving in that easily. Luke should have been more concerned about his welfare after all. Luke whines when Ashton doesn’t do anything more and tries to chase his lips as Ashton leans back.

 

“Nuh huh” Ashton tuts, “you have to work for it” Luke glances backwards towards the door to check no one is there before sliding off the sofa and positioning himself on the floor between Ashton’s legs.

 

“Do you want _this_?” he asks innocently, looking up at Ashton and sometimes Ashton doesn’t think Luke can be _real_.

 

“Fuck, yes . . . But we can’t do anything here, obviously. And there’s no lock on my door either . . .” Ashton smirks at Luke’s frustrated whine; Ashton is being really mean and teasing him on purpose. Luke gets back up onto the sofa and folds his arms and huffs and pouts. Ashton pats his thigh.

 

“Soon baby, don’t worry”

 

***

 

It’s only much later, when they’re lying in Ashton’s bed and Ashton is half holding Luke and attempting not to hurt himself where he had his surgery, when he tells Luke how he’s been feeling. He’s always been a confident person and although he suffered with occasional self-consciousness (who doesn’t) it was never a serious issue. Not compared to how he feels now.

 

“Luke?” Luke makes some odd sound that Ashton takes to mean he’s listening. “Would you still like me if . . .” Luke cuts Ashton off before he can say any more. He sits up and stares at Ashton in the half dark.

 

“I don’t like where this is going, of course I would still like you” Luke says it like it’s obvious. Ashton nods, he wants to believe Luke but he knows Luke could have anyone he wanted, why would he stick with him?

 

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Luke sounds sad and Ashton hates making him feel like that but he feels the same.

 

“It’s stupid, I know, but ever since the surgery I keep thinking about how ugly the scar looks and I know there’s kids with far worse and I shouldn’t complain but I can’t help it” Ashton says in a rush and then covers his face with the duvet. Luke doesn’t pull it off Ashton but goes in under. He half hugs Ashton and buries his face in his shoulder.

 

“It’s okay to feel like that but you don’t have to be worried about anything. I don’t feel any differently towards you”

 

“You don’t?” deep down Ashton knows Luke wouldn’t just ditch him like that, he’d have to be a pretty terrible person, which he isn’t.

 

“Of course I don’t” Luke leans up and kisses Ashton carefully on the lips. It’s not often that he has to comfort Ashton like this; it’s usually the other way around, when Luke’s having one of his particularly insecure days.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m being stupid”

 

“No you’re not, you’re totally allowed to feel like this, but you shouldn’t” Ashton thinks he should feel terrible more often because Luke is cute as fuck when he’s being comforting.

 

Ashton pulls Luke towards him and kisses him, he meant for it to be cute but it gets a little heated and Ashton has to remind himself that his mother is downstairs.

 

“Ashton” Luke whines, “Stop leading me on when you’re not going to do anything. Please I can’t handle it”

 

“Aw I’m sorry baby,” Ashton says although he doesn’t sound sorry at all. He pushes Luke onto his back and presses his palm against Luke’s cock through his sweatpants (they’ve all given up on wearing jeans since they’re back home). Luke makes a chocked sort of whining sound and Ashton shushes him.

 

“This is payback for thinking about sex when I was in hospital” Ashton moves his hand away and instead bundles Luke up into his arms, he can’t be mean to Luke for too long, he’s far too cute. Luke’s still kind of annoyed Ashton is being an awful tease but he soon relaxes in Ashton’s hold.

 

“You’re great, you know that right?” Luke can’t help but blush and snuggle closer against Ashton. “Thanks for getting me through that”

 

“It’s fine” Ashton doesn’t say anything else, just plays with Luke’s hair until he falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Tumblr: Sugarbabystyles


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